Just for the heck of it...

The Schumanator.

Actual Phone Call Recieved Today

Michael: "Hi, I'm getting over a really bad migraine. Can you call me, so that my phone vibrates while I rest it against my head?"
Me: *dumbfounded silence*

kooky test

on my computer programming midterm coming up its 10 points if i know my section- wow i better memorize that 065 or i might get a 90!?
the final for it will be a lot harder so i just have to not screw this up.
but his class is the 1 where it was overcrowded the first day and week by week it got less crowded- the man just can't keep people interested.

Desperate Plea

Will somebody besides Matt (who I am immeasurably grateful to) PLEASE send me a postcard??? I've sent TWENTY EIGHT POSTCARDS and recieved TWO responses, both from Matthew. COME ON! IT ISN'T THAT DIFFICULT!

That'll be all for tonight. Except to say that my hall smells very strongly of pot, so if I'm acting strangely (?), you know why.

Wow

"Jewish guilt? Its was not yuntiv when I made that post it was monday before yuntiv began look 11:44 and they day after sunday it monday. so monday 11:44 thsts not yuntiv, ha no jewsih guilt. "
--Matthew Dorsch

Discuss.

Attention Deux!

Since none of you claim to be in the Philadelphia area, let me make another request: if anyone needs any escapades in the Philadelphia accomplished in the next few days, I'm your man. Example: "Fetch me the Holy Grail." I have nothing better to do.

If you are a blog member, please reply as a new post.

Attention!

I'm in SoPo (that's South of Poughkeepsie; ie. Philly) for the week. If you're around and want to meet, give me a ringy-ding. If you're around and you don't want to meet, screw you! I'll hunt you down! There's no escaping me! You can run, but you can't hide! Your shoes are untied. GOTCHA!

Just for the heck of it...

Moonlit Madness has been postponed until 2016.

Got to Love the Airport!

So at least this time I was not considered a terrorist, but I think I was almost killed. After my flight being cancled and being moved to an earlier flight without being informed till 5 minute before it let, and I was tolds I would not get my bag, which I missed anyway, I was finally moved to a 3:00 flight which was delayed 2.5 hours. Teh best was the flgiht attendant said we willbegin boring in 5 minutues every ran up in excitement and got in ine, then she was like i am sorry it will be another 40 minutes and peopel bagan to boo, some peopel even sat were they were and stopped leaving the line bcasue of all the false boarding announcements so they would not have to move. So eventually my plain bored after serveral false boarding announcements adn we were off to philadelphia. Because it was so late and my family was at Kol nidre I had to get a cab home. And so after asking 4 people, someone finally directed me where I could pick up a cab. Now is where the fun starts. So some guy witha badge asks me where I wanted to go and I said Wynnewood, and was like I think I could do that, and I was like oh great! And we start to walk to were like all these cabs are and turns around and walk the other way and so I followed him to another parking lot where he goes upto a normal non cab looking car and I was like maybe its liek car service. so he tells me to put my bag in the back and for me to sit in the font and then I began to worry, but the car was clean and there was a little tree that was an air freshoner so i felt a little better. Till I notice he was blocking the duct-taped window with his arm, and then after we began to drive I relized there was no meter in the car and began to panac, so I asked th guys how much it would cost and he said 45 - 50 dollars which is normal so i was a little relaxed. And he starts asking me aboutmy car and my dads car and i like lying to him telling him they were old peices of junk, he seemed to want more and mroe details, which freecked me out more, then while turning onto city line he locks the doors, and then when passing a cop car he puts his seatbelt on, like he was trying not to get pulled over. Then we come to my street and I tell him to turn here and then he begins to speed and i was like my street is after the light like screaming, and he was like " I comprehended you the first time" At that point Ii thought Ii was dead like was going to pull away and take me somewhere else and kill me, be jerked to a stop and turned on my street and then I finally got home. He was like lets say is 50 + tip so I was looking for a 10 so I could give hima 5 dollar tip, but I could not find one and did not want to ask for change, so i gave him 60 grabbed my stuff and ran into my house. Thank God for thanks giving I am taking a school provided bus home. I think it will be a little more relaxing.

Hippo Ballet

I'd just like to take this opportunity to wish Mr. Matthew Dorsch a happy birthday. I hope your special day was filled with giggles and naked women. Or maybe just giggles. Or maybe just naked women. Well, I hope you got half of the above either way. Enjoy, and don't get too drunk tonight, becuase you need to be able to find your way back somehow.

just for the heck of it...

if your roomate gets back from a late night of drinking at 8 am, is he a party animals or should i just forget this and hope he doesn't get that crazy again?
it was funny- he tried to get into a pizza place at 3 am, a few minutes after they close, and he wasnt allowed in- o well.

Just for the heck of it...

That weird plank on the floor of the hallway outside the Science Lab that went "ka-LUNK" everytime you stepped on it.

(I hope this isn't getting old...)

The Terrorist Story

I told some of you this story, but I thought I would post it for the heck of it for those I have not told. This is the story of how they thought I was a terrorist. I was going though security in the airport and the metal detector did not beep or bleep or anything and all of the bags passed inspection except for one, my portfolio. So another guy had to come and get me and take my bag to another secluded area and open it up and look through it. After swabbing different parts of my bag and putting them in some machine to be analyzed he opened my little canvas bag that had all my tools in it. What was interesting was he was not concerned about the exacto-knife and it extra blade, he took all the blade what was most concerning was my compass. It had a point so after much deliberation and talking to a fellow security guard they took the point of the compass and then were going to let me go until the discovery of the rubber cement. The issue was not that it was glue or a bonding agent; it was that rubber cement is flammable. So the guy had to take me to another table and some other women had to come and interrogate me why I had the glue. I told them I was a student and it was for an art class and I as sorry that I did not know it was flammable. Then she pulls out this huge stack of papers and starts to fill out forms. she need my drivers license, my phone number, what I looked like, what clothes I was wearing and I had to remove my hat so she could write my hair color and style, she then asked for my social security number. Next another guy came over stood next to her and continued to fill out another form. while he did that some other guy cam over over with a jacket and one of those ear piece and asked why I had the glue and then he said did I know it was flammable and then he said that stuff is not allowed on planes and that I should be more careful he then put his figure on the ear piece and said something like false alarm or he checks out. I was too nervous to remember. Eventual I get up to guts to ask If I will still be aloud on the plane and they are like yes we just need to fill out documentation, but I need to answer some question, so she asked it and I had no idea what she said. I was like can you elaborate. She is like will you willingly give us the glue, or you won’t be allowed on the plane. I was like keep it, enjoy. And then they let me get up and leave. Wow long story I hope you guys enjoy. Also on the way back, they randomly selected to search the bag that I had checked. Conspiracy????

Political Correctness

So I go to check my messages today, and am wowed by what I hear:

"Hi, Michael. This is Yung-I calling, I'm the Asian in your theatre-writing class."

How great is that? I told Sharon. She suggested I return the call with, "Hi, this is Michael, the Jew from your class."

That's it, really. Write more posts people, it's fun reading what you're all up to!*

Take care, all the best, and gmar chatimah tovah.

Lovey Dovey,

*Bernie excluded

Just for the heck of it...

Sildena-Phil citrate.

Revelations

I'm on the phone with Marti right now from Israel, and I just heard the strangest comment I think I may ever hear:

Marti: "I'm going to come back a completely changed person. You won't even recognize me. You know why?"
Me: "Why?"
Marti: "I like cottage cheese now."
...Very long pause...
Me: "I'm going to hang up the phone now."

Grammar and Double Entendres (sp?)

Ok, first off:

"i blame the grades she gave me with my failure to be accepted to connecticut college."

This sentence means the reason you got bad grades in 9th grade is because you didn't get accepted into 12th grade. Get with the times. Literally.

Second, "I'm too sexy for division." This is just a paradox.

Finally, Ethan, it IS very amusing to see you talk to yourself in the comments sections. Please don't stop.

Matthew: That was very sweet of you. I think I'm gonna be sick (just kidding, thank you, and everything that Matthew said applies to me as well. Just imagine it more eloquently phrased.

Love you all, I'm going back to the city on Sunday. I saw David's brother today. He had fake scars on a piece of paper. It was...strange.

-Mikey

Mrs. Hoagland Would Be Proud

I wrote this right before a linear algebra test:

I'm too sexy for addition
too sexy for subtraction
too sexy for division.

I'm too sexy for my fractions
too sexy for decimals
too sexy for mixed numbers.

I'm too sexy for exponents
too sexy for the log
log's going to leave me.

I'm too sexy for my parabola
too sexy for my hyperbola
too sexy for my asymptote.

I'm too sexy for my asymptote
too sexy for my asymptote
so damn sexy.

I'm too sexy for my sine
too sexy for my cosine
too sexy for my tangent.

I'm too sexy for my matrix
too sexy for my vector
too sexy for my span.

And I'm too sexy for my asymptote
too sexy for my asymptote
so damn sexy.

On a Serious Note

Since it is that time of the year I wanted to apologize for anything I have done that has offended or hurt you over the past year, I am truly sorry. I wish you all a sweet new year and a great first year at college.

Just for the heck of it...

YOU are boring. What he is saying, that is interesting. But you- you are boring. Believe me. The only reason you're alive and breathing in this room is because I allow it! Where do you think I am? PLUTO? The fact that you're laughing right now shows just how immature you are!