The Annual Gift Guide

He may be taking a Sabbatical, but Dave Barry still has fulfilled his duties of completing his annual gift guide. Here is the list of the strangest items ever to be seen on the internet:
Dave Barry's Gift Guide 2005

I request that you refrain from purchasing any of these for me, for I will be required to cease all communication with you. Thanks, and have a Merry Christmas.

EDIT: I feel the need to point out specifically the Titanic toy. Fun for all ages!