The Big
Fluff
By Bernie Langer
I'm writing this letter today not as a member of the human race, but as a North American Marmot. This is because I am a Marmot.
You probably don't know what a Marmot is. It's kind of like chipmunk, but not as cute. But hear this: Marmots are not to be reckoned with. Except European Marmots. They're sissies.
Sure, Marmots may be as ugly as an angry Barbara Walters, but we're still living too! Except, of course, for the dead Marmots. And, compared to dead Marmots, we're pretty cute.
Finally, if you painted a stripe down the back of a Marmot, it would look exactly like a chipmunk. Don't reckon with a Marmot.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I WAS VERY BORED. GIVE ME SOME SLACK.